No Debate Necessary

I'm writing again, and Libby wants all of the readers to know she isn't dead. She's working hard and has 2 canker sores because of stress.

Now, onto what I want to talk about...
The election is coming up and I'm still stuck! I read about our candidates and take quizzes to see who I agree with more and who I believe would be the best to run our country. I've realized (maybe just cuz I'm older and don't have a lot of experience) but this seems to be the most debated election process ever! There are pros and cons to both parties. But what gets me is the people that get angry with each other. I am pretty sure who I'm voting for, but I know once I say it, it will open up debate. I'm getting sick of this. We can debate until we're blue in the face, but where does it get us?

I miss Mike Huckabee. He was the man and I was pretty pumped to think he would be our next president. But as I was reading a friend of mine's blog tonight about the election and watching people comment back and forth on it, I thought about Huckabee and why I liked him (the fact that he would speak about his faith and was not ashamed...all that jive). I know I want a God-fearing man to run our country, but from the looks of it, that's not going to happen.

We have the right to vote for the person running our country and we should be thankful for that. Too many people just don't vote because they think whoever wins is the person that is supposed to win. But instead of debating who should be in the office, do we ever step back and put God back into the picture? When Huckabee was running, I thought a lot about God's plan for our country. Now that we have these 2 guys running, we overlook God. Do you ever picture God up there waving his arms saying, "HELLO!! I'm still here! Don't forget about me because I have NOT forgotten about you!!" So why not be praying for our next elected official instead of debating who it should be. Sure, we all have our view and we're all different. Most people can't seem to agree to disagree...everything turns to debate. How about you take a moment to pray about this election - what would happen then? Do we even pray for the people running our country? I don't want to get back into my prayer topic - but I don't want to overlook the fact that God is not out of this country. This country was founded by a group of Christian men built on Christian principles. Then enemy has been crafty at trying to get God out of this country, let's join forces (like on captain planet! haha) and come together as believers and PRAY FOR OUR COUNTRY!! God has not left us, no politicians can take God out of our country. There is always a war going on, and we've watched the enemy slowly take hold over the years. Join me in these next few weeks to pray for this election. We are one nation UNDER GOD - never forget it.

Pointless ramblings...

My heart is full right now. I could possibly write a book on what all is going on in my head. I'm thinking about my family, how awesome they are; the student ministry, how much i love them; debating with people, how much it exhausts me; new discoveries in God, someone will want to debate them and then I'll get exhausted. So what to write about tonight....I'm stuck. Maybe write on prayer?
Here's my deal - tonight at youth was incredible. It got real deep and I didn't even mean for that to happen. I was talking about community and how we all need people in our lives to be in relationship with. These relationships are crucial for when we go through a hard time in life. We talked about Kerry (he is a senior who was diagnosed with Leukemia last week) and his sister was there. At the end, we gathered around her and prayed for Kerry. When the night was over, a lady that helps out with youth told me that next time, I need to pray that we accept God's will, whatever that might be. I wasn't sure how to take that, as if my prayer was bad or something. I know it wasn't and I know my heart was genuine, so it didn't bother me like she was telling me I pray bad (can you even pray bad?!) but it did get me thinking...how do we pray? Obviously, there is the Lord's prayer we Jesus even says, this is how you should pray! We know God has a will (plan) for our lives, but can that plan change? Sometimes it's like God has the answer, but until we ask for it...we don't get it. Think about Jabez - God had a blessing for him, but he didn't get it until he asked for it. Then I read in Romans 8:26-27 that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us and interprets our prayer to God according to His will. So essentially, our prayers are always in line with God's will. So is there really a method to praying? Do we stick to the Lord's prayer?
If I went to the Doctor and wanted to get better, I wouldn't say to him, "Doc, I know you know what's wrong with me...so if it's your will, please heal me" NO!!! I say "Doc, FIX ME!!". To me, it's almost like praying a prayer and at the end asking for God's will to be done that we lack faith. We can't ask for anything from God because we don't know if it's in line with His plan. But go back to Romans, it will be according to His plan. Look up verses on prayer - you see example after example of people praying and God answering their prayers. But when Paul asked God to remove the thorn from his side, He said no. So our prayers don't always go according to planned, but clearly there is a reason to pray, right? I mean, when I was looking up verses on people praying, it's almost sounds like "Because they prayed, they received their answer".

Guys, I know this blog is totally confusing and you're probably messed up in the head right now. I'm not writing this to open up debate with you because honestly, I don't know what I'm thinking. It's a process right now that I'm trying to figure out. Maybe I never will! But I do know one thing, I will never stop praying. Whether you think I speak the right way or not, I know God sees my heart and you can't, so for me, that's enough. He is the one that answers prayers, no one else, so I can find peace in knowing it's not up to anyone on this earth to answer my prayers, I just need God to search my heart. Any advice in this journey would be appreciated though! Kylee - that's a job for you :-)

Finding Contentment

I (Gabe) have been real hard on myself lately. I don't know what it is about my personality, but I think I like it too. I set the bar high for myself in different areas of my life and if I don't live up to it, I'm let down. Everyone else around me thinks what is going on is great, but for some reason, I leave feeling discouraged. There are 2 main areas where I feel like I do this: Ministry and business. Saturday I had my whole business team out to do a product thing for our church and friends around Anderson, our goal was to help raise money for the new building for the Bridge. I was excited because I was going to give 100% of all the profit to the Bridge! Then when it was all over, there wasn't much to throw a party about. I don't get it - I understand people are negative about what I'm doing, but if I was doing cutco or arbonne or any other business system like that, they would be all about it! But because of people involved with us in the PAST like, 70s and 80s, the older generation hates it...which then carries over into today. It's completely different and how we do it is completely different. You'll find bad people in any business endeavor, how come when I am involved in something all I get is bad feedback? I think what is frustrating the most is that I have a friend that just recently got involved (not with me) and now is making a killing at this and doing very well!
So I left that day just asking God, "WHY?!" Why can someone else get started with us and within 12 months be making enough money to pay off all their debt and live a comfortable life? But when I commit myself to this and am wanting to do this to help out the church and support my brother and his family in ministry - how come then nothing happens? When I was selfish about it and wanted it for myself, I saw growth and things happening. There is some disconnect there and I don't understand it. But I know that there is no victory without a struggle. I know that I'm struggling now, but the victory will be so sweet. This is where the contentment comes in....
I went to church the next morning and took my mind off business matters and focused on my job with the church. That service was the best I think we've had. The music, the message, the whole thing was incredible. I had great conversations with kids later in the day about it and so much awesome stuff came from that. I realized that God has me in His hands (not that I didn't know that before), but I felt a real peace about it. Sure, business isn't where I want it to be - but do you see the lives changing right in front of you? God has blessed me so much in the area of ministry and I LOVE what I do. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have to look around me and see that God has not forgotten me, He hasn't taken me out of the picture. But right now, my picture is the Bridge student ministry. He has taken care of me, bills are being paid, I'm able to take my wife on dates, I am even able to throw a lot at debt each month. We aren't behind at all. I tend to overlook that sometimes. I look around me at successful people (financially) and get upset because that was the path I was on before God plucked me out of the crowd and said, "I want you to go this way". I know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him. I'm finding contentment with what God has given me. I know that He is doing a great work in me and that my future is bright. I know that God has put a "no-quit" mindset in me and that I will not quit, I will not walk away from what He has put into my life. I need to remember that where I'm at in life is not an accident and His plan is perfect for me. I can't focus on where I'm at right now, I need to know that God sees my life, He knows my future and He has big plans for us. I'm excited to see where He takes it, but in the meantime, I will rest on the fact that He has not forgotten me, He will not let me settle for mediocrity, He will continue to bless my life. I'm challenged daily to look around me and see God in my life and everyday, He surprises me. My prayer is that God will continue to surprise me, that things will happen that the only way to explain it is that God had a part in it. We've seen it with the youth program, but we've only just begun. I know He isn't finished with me at the Bridge, not even close. God, surprise me! Use Libby and me for extraordinary things...I'm ready and I'm excited to see what is about to happen.

Fireproof

Last night Libby and I had a date night. We went down to Indy so she could shop (her love language...not mine!) and then had dinner with my parents. It's always good to see them, I feel like I don't very often even though they are so close. Guess we should have a kid :-) Just kidding. But then we went and saw the movie "Fireproof". It's from the makers of "Facing the Giants". If you haven't seen the giants one...you need to. If you are married, you need to see fireproof. Even if you aren't...it's incredible. But if you are married, you will leave the movie loving your spouse so much more and not take them for granted and appreciate so much more about them. I've only been married about 5 months (wow, I can't believe it's been that long!) and I've seen myself as the main character is. You become complacent. There is a part where a guy is talking about how you study your love while you are dating and you know so much about them and what will draw them closer to yourself. When you marry the person, it's like getting your high school diploma in regards to how you studied that person. But for most, once they are married, the pursuit stops. He tells the guy to continue to go for your college degree, your masters, even your doctorate. You never stop studying the other person and finding ways you can show your love to them. Marriage isn't a destination, it's a journey. I was challenged by that movie to find ways I can love Libby in the way she deserves to be loved. To capture her heart daily and pursue her constantly...not out of duty, out of love. I desire to know her more, to love her more deeply and to grow closer to her daily. As I came home, I thought of how many marriages around me I see where people just live together and just do life without truly pursuing each other. Even getting my hair cut, the guy was impressed we go out on a date atleast once a week. We had a good talk about it and I encouraged him to never stop dating his wife. (this was all before I had even seen the movie) But I knew that when I dated Libby before we were married, those were the times we just fell more in love with each other. Now I know even more the importance of dating once we are married. Marriage is a commitment till death, but it is also a "battle" until death and I have won her heart and I will continue to pursue her heart and never give up on our love. She is worth fighting for, amidst the struggles we have with each other, we will overcome and be drawn closer together. Is your spouse someone that you want to fight for? Are they someone you want to pursue and be drawn closer too? Then what are you doing about it? If you don't capture their heart...who is?

Random ending note: I was having some really cool alone time a little bit ago and just talking with God about life. Tomorrow at youth I'm talking about surrendering our will and asking for God's will to be done. As I prayed, I kept saying "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" - how often do we pray this? How often do we ask for God's will to be done? If we could see the picture of God in heaven and He tells us this is how we should pray - shouldn't we be excited? When I close my eyes and imagine heaven, I get excited. But God asks us to pray that His kingdom will come!! Heaven is all around us, we see God's glory shone throughout our worlds, but how many of us open our eyes to it? Or are we stuck in our own control and we can't surrender ourselves to God's will? That hits me between the eyes, so I thought I'd share.

Today was an awesome bad day. Does that even make sense? I hope so. I got to hang out with some really cool people tonight and it was very refreshing for me to be around people that are not part of the Bridge or our business team. So it was cool to "just be". That was the awesomeness to my day, I got to meet new people without any of them really knowing me and I could just sit there and listen to stories and not even think about anything. Kind of weird, I know, but it was great.

I know I posted my last post about some feelings I've been having. I'm still searching for God's lesson in that...but today I think I may have begun to see the light. I'm realizing how much the enemy hates me. I am not sure people outside of ministry roles really understand that there truly is a spiritual battle all around us. This past week, I began to feel it, to really experience it. There is a time when Elisha was about to be attacked by his enemies and his servant dude came running in all scared. Elisha then prayed telling God to open his eyes. When his eyes were opened, he saw God's army around the enemy to protect them. But this week, I felt as though God was holding off his army and letting the enemy knock me down. This has been an incredible summer and we have seen so much happen in the lives of students and I know the enemy hates us for that. But I continue to feel attacked and it feels like a constant battle for my heart and my mind. I was finally beginning to grasp ahold of something this morning, but had to stop to take care of some other business. Before I could get back to it, it's like another attack happened. Something happened to me in a way that it should not have happened, but I had no control over that...but I think it happened to me for a reason. Here is why...
I was beginning to discover myself this morning, to see my real beauty in God's eyes. But before I was able to really dive into it, my phone got a text that I needed to go pick something up to set up. As I got to the school to set up, only one guy showed up. The other people I called had to work and 1 was out of town, and there was miscommunication between Joel and I on who to call so no one else was there. Then I went to lunch and had an interesting conversation about how I was doing my job. I understand that in dealing with a lot of people, I will tick off people...that comes with the job. As I was listening to this guy talk to me, I had a few different feelings going through me. Let me tell you what I "heard" - you dropped the ball, you wasted the summer, nothing is ready and you are a terrible leader. Let me tell you what he said, atleast what I believe his heart to be - you are a great leader, but you're not taking it to your potential, what has happened in the youth program with the students has been incredible, but we need to focus on adults as well, and our communication really needs work. I know you read this, so know that now, I see it...it took me awhile

I want you to see God's hand in this....

I left and had all day to process about Aftershock and my experience earlier in the day. It's 1 am right now and I finally broke down. As I was looking back, what I "heard" was very audible to me, I truly believed my friend was sitting here attacking me and after the past 2 weeks...this was the last thing I could take. The thought of finding a new job came in front of me, I felt like I was the person that should sit in a cubicle and just do office work. I sat at my computer tonight looking over things for Aftershock and prayed that God would open my eyes. (sounds like Elisha's prayer...didn't think about that). Guys, the enemy is real and all around us. I began to listen to his voice and believe his lies. My eyes were opened to a God that is pulling me to Him and holding the enemy back.
I began to pray and as I had my eyes closed, I could see this darkness around me closing in. It was hard to even process the words in my head, but I just began to ask God to hold me. I needed comfort, I needed reassurance. As I prayed for Him to protect me and send his angels in to keep the enemy away, the darkness began to leave me. The craziest thing about it, my lightbulbs got brighter. And I just sat there with my eyes closed and just found rest in Him - not even kidding you, there was a physical feeling of something in my chest being lifted and it caused me to open my eyes and right in front of me Libby had written 2 different verses and they were on a bulletin board and one on the outside of a pencil box. Both had the words "Unfailing love" written on them.

I was reminded tonight hanging out with those friends how refreshing it is to "just be"...it's the same with God. How renewed, how refreshed can you be by just being you in the presence of God. I can look back on this day and see where He brought me and what He taught me. Now I pray I can sleep and Aftershock is just filled with God's love in the room and that these 100 kids will leave experiencing Him in a new way, like I did tonight. Thank you God.

School days...

Gabe is so right. This blog was my idea and he posts more often than I do! I have some updating to do! I have been a "real" teacher for just over one month now, and I absolutely love it. Teaching is one plan God set out for my life, and I love being in the midst of that plan. Instead of going on and on in paragraph form, let me just list a few things, ok? (My life is now filled with lists......its how I function.)

What I enjoy and love about teaching fifth grade:

-seeing my students walk in the door....I still get excited every morning when I hear the bell ring

-looking at my room and realizing that it is "my" room. Finally!

-actually teaching the material and seeing excitement on their faces as I am teaching

-comforting students when they come down too hard on themselves

-playing "Knockout" at recess

-sharing poetry with them and seeing their hunger for it!

-watching their faces after I hand back an A+ test

-laughing with them after I make a mistake or say something weird....it happens frequently!

-working with my co-teachers.....Kim and Regina are amazing women! They have helped me grow as a teacher in leaps and bounds in just this one month!

-knowing in my heart that I am trying to love these children as Christ would each day

What I am learning to deal with as a teacher:

-I really don't have enough hours in a day

-it takes hours of sacrifice to be an elementary teacher......more hours to be a good one!

-if I don't grade papers for one night, it bites me in the rear down the road

-how to handle a child who cannot control his anger and frustration in my classroom

-I am learning how to be consistent, fair, and firm every single day.....you wouldn't think it would be that hard, but boy, it is! I can't worry about getting them to like me; I need them to respect me first! I'm learning......

-how to pray for wisdom hourly

-meeting the needs in my classroom of 19 students

-I need more sleep than I am giving myself! :)

Here are a few pictures of my classroom! (They are hard to see, but you get the idea....)

They are hard at work! (We have no lockers at my school, so that is why there are backpacks on desks and on the floor. You can just imagine me trying to walk around all of them....it gets crazy!)

This is the view from the back corner! I now have different curtains in my windows thanks to my mom! The lace was driving me nuts! My desk is in the front corner. And those yellow folders on their desks are their working folders to hold all of their "in-progress" assignments they are working on. They just reach in there during work time and know what to finish up!

Here is my work space which I feel like I am never at throughout the day! I try not to be back there because I feel like I need to be in and around my students even as they are working. I can check their progress much better by walking around than looking out at them! My desk is always clean at the end of the day, but watch out! Throughout the day it gets quite messy because I am not around it to organize!

My mom and I worked on this bulletin board together! It says, "Look who's campin' out in fifth grade!" And those are sticks with "marshmallows" on the end of them! And another thank you to Kylee for the beautiful dragonfly you see by the Welcome circles! She painted that for me one afternoon!

My classroom library is back in the "Reading Campsite". I love this area.....it's bright and colorful and encourages them to get cozy while reading. I hope to find some camping chairs to put back here soon. It's not in the Reed budget......yet. :)

I hope that gives you, my friends and family, a little look into my life at the moment. I love this opportunity I have to invest in the lives of my 19 students. They are precious to me. Pray for them this week as they take their ISTEP (state standardized test) tests. They will be wiped out as they they will test for three hours each morning this week. I think I will be nice and not assign homework. Maybe. :)

Victory in the Struggle

You know what's funny to me...this blog thing was Libby's idea...when was the last time you wrote on here?! :-) I guess I'll keep everyone up to date with what is happening.
Libby is teaching in case you haven't figured that out and she is the best teacher I've ever seen! I'm a little partial though. I'll let her write on here what has been going on with that.
Youth has been going very well. We are getting ready to launch our youth service for the year. We had some complications with the facility so we've had to wait longer than we want...but I think I deserved a little break. It's cool to know how much I love my job though because I want to be doing it now!! But our wednesday nights have really picked up. I've been getting to know the high school's football team a lot better and we're getting a good turn out from the players and seeing some really cool things happen there. here's a story...
There is a kid, we'll call him Bob. I met him probably when he was a freshmen, he's a senior now. Never really got to know him because he didn't go the Bridge, but I try and get to know as many kids as I can in the schools whether or not they do go to the Bridge. Well, a lot has been going on lately in his life. For instance, he found out recently that the dad he thought was his dad his whole life, is not really his dad. They had a blood test done on his step dad and his "Real" dad to see....turns out, it's not his dad, his step dad is his biological dad. That'll mess a 17 year old up! Then a good friend of his who is in high school, has a stroke or something go wrong and he dies. So this kid is hurting. Luckily, the place where we do youth, the guy is one of his coaches! So he comes out to youth and we actually connect really well. So I've been bonding with him a little bit and it's been cool to really be a part of his life. Last wednesday when I was talking, I felt like I needed to share what a relationship with God is about. I normally don't go deep on wednesdays because it's more of a time for kids to bring their friends. But I couldn't fight it, I could tell the Holy Spirit was prompting me to do this. At the end, I had the kids pray with me and then look up at me if they prayed with me. He was one of those kid!! Praise God! It was so cool. Then I got to talk with him after youth more and I can just tell he needs someone. So he's been another kid I've been investing in. That's the victory we experienced in the trouble. He was having a troubled life but was able to experience a cool victory! I'm kind of excited about that! :-)

Here's my issue...here's where you can pray. I love what I do, wouldn't trade it for the world right now. But I think my heart is getting too into it. Is that possible in ministry? Apparently it is. There are long stories which I won't get into right now...but I'm struggling with 2 kids right now. One of them is this guy that has been around for a little bit and is a senior now. He's been real distant lately and I've heard rumors of him doing things on weekends, just stuff that isn't like him. When I was talking to him at lunch today, he treats me like I'm nothing. He has that "I'm too cool" attitude. I think the issue is that he thinks we're more buddies than we are mentors/protege relationship. So he talks to me like that. Sometimes I don't have an issue with it because I want the kids to know I'm their friend and I care about them. But there is a deeper issue there and I'm letting it bother me right now. I know this is confusing, but I think I just need to write it out. But I could use prayer on this. I don't want to see this kid slip away...but I'm struggling with what is going on right now.

There are lots of stories like this, of kids that I just don't get what is going on in their head. I want to help them, but I think the age thing is an issue. It's hard when I'm only 6 years older than some of them. I know I'm in the right place...I think I just need some time away. I need time to reconnect with God and know His place for me in their lives. When we have 100 different youth, it's hard to get my place in each relationship when they are all different. It'll all work out...I just need prayer. The enemy hates me, hates what we're doing, hates to see all these kids turning towards the light. People think I have the easiest job, going to schools, hanging out at football games and just being with kids. But I don't think people realize the spiritual darkness there is. There is a war going on for these kid's hearts and I'm in the thick of it. I'm daily battling the enemy for my heart for God, and for these kids. You may not see it if you sit in an office all day at work, but until you get on the battlefield, this is real. I take joy in the fact knowing that I am fighting on the winning team. It's a cool realization to know that the battle is won, victory over the enemies is happening. We just have to get through the battle to the other side. Until the day I go home to be with my God, I'm fighting and daily I have to equip myself to not let the enemy take my thoughts captive. That's my heart, that's where I'm at right now...be praying because I am feeling weak in this moment.