Finding Contentment

I (Gabe) have been real hard on myself lately. I don't know what it is about my personality, but I think I like it too. I set the bar high for myself in different areas of my life and if I don't live up to it, I'm let down. Everyone else around me thinks what is going on is great, but for some reason, I leave feeling discouraged. There are 2 main areas where I feel like I do this: Ministry and business. Saturday I had my whole business team out to do a product thing for our church and friends around Anderson, our goal was to help raise money for the new building for the Bridge. I was excited because I was going to give 100% of all the profit to the Bridge! Then when it was all over, there wasn't much to throw a party about. I don't get it - I understand people are negative about what I'm doing, but if I was doing cutco or arbonne or any other business system like that, they would be all about it! But because of people involved with us in the PAST like, 70s and 80s, the older generation hates it...which then carries over into today. It's completely different and how we do it is completely different. You'll find bad people in any business endeavor, how come when I am involved in something all I get is bad feedback? I think what is frustrating the most is that I have a friend that just recently got involved (not with me) and now is making a killing at this and doing very well!
So I left that day just asking God, "WHY?!" Why can someone else get started with us and within 12 months be making enough money to pay off all their debt and live a comfortable life? But when I commit myself to this and am wanting to do this to help out the church and support my brother and his family in ministry - how come then nothing happens? When I was selfish about it and wanted it for myself, I saw growth and things happening. There is some disconnect there and I don't understand it. But I know that there is no victory without a struggle. I know that I'm struggling now, but the victory will be so sweet. This is where the contentment comes in....
I went to church the next morning and took my mind off business matters and focused on my job with the church. That service was the best I think we've had. The music, the message, the whole thing was incredible. I had great conversations with kids later in the day about it and so much awesome stuff came from that. I realized that God has me in His hands (not that I didn't know that before), but I felt a real peace about it. Sure, business isn't where I want it to be - but do you see the lives changing right in front of you? God has blessed me so much in the area of ministry and I LOVE what I do. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have to look around me and see that God has not forgotten me, He hasn't taken me out of the picture. But right now, my picture is the Bridge student ministry. He has taken care of me, bills are being paid, I'm able to take my wife on dates, I am even able to throw a lot at debt each month. We aren't behind at all. I tend to overlook that sometimes. I look around me at successful people (financially) and get upset because that was the path I was on before God plucked me out of the crowd and said, "I want you to go this way". I know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him. I'm finding contentment with what God has given me. I know that He is doing a great work in me and that my future is bright. I know that God has put a "no-quit" mindset in me and that I will not quit, I will not walk away from what He has put into my life. I need to remember that where I'm at in life is not an accident and His plan is perfect for me. I can't focus on where I'm at right now, I need to know that God sees my life, He knows my future and He has big plans for us. I'm excited to see where He takes it, but in the meantime, I will rest on the fact that He has not forgotten me, He will not let me settle for mediocrity, He will continue to bless my life. I'm challenged daily to look around me and see God in my life and everyday, He surprises me. My prayer is that God will continue to surprise me, that things will happen that the only way to explain it is that God had a part in it. We've seen it with the youth program, but we've only just begun. I know He isn't finished with me at the Bridge, not even close. God, surprise me! Use Libby and me for extraordinary things...I'm ready and I'm excited to see what is about to happen.