ONE YEAR!!!

So it's been a year yesterday that we have been married. It's hard to believe that a year has passed us. I don't even remember what it was like to say goodbye after spending a sunday together. (this is Gabe by the way). It's weird to think that we dated for 4 years without being in the same city and seeing each other maybe once a week on the day that I'm usually the most exhausted because of church stuff. Last night Libby and I watched our wedding and it brought back all those feelings of anxiousness to get to be with the girl I've waited my whole life for! It was so great to have all of our friends and family come out to watch that glorious event. We're more than blessed for the lives that we have and the people in them.

I'll never forget 5 years ago around this time - I was sitting on the steps of my parent's house crying to my mom. I had made mistakes in my life, I dated people that were not even close to what I would imagine for my life and I had lost touch with God. I felt so lost, so empty and hurting. I just wanted to get away, to start over and focus my life on what God wants in my life. I know that seems "churchy" - which it shouldn't it should be how we all live our lives. But that summer, I left to go work at camp to get my mind off of girls and really get my heart right and my priorities straight. I'll never forget the words my mom said to me "You'll find someone who doesn't go to Anderson, who will value you as a man and who will push you to do what God wants in your life. She'll put God first in her life and push you to do the same. She'll respect that you are striving for that in your own life". That all happened in May 2004 as I was sitting on those steps.

I go off to camp and we're sitting in the basement of lookout lodge meeting the staff. I was sitting there with people I already knew and I knew that this would be a good staff - there were no girls there that showed interest in me and none that I had interest in (part of it was because I was pushing everyone away!) But then Evan said we're still waiting on 2 people to get there, 1 of those people was Libby. I will NEVER forget when she walked in the door....that smile got me and I'll never forget my prayer at that moment. "Why are you doing this to me God?!" I knew that Libby was the other lifeguard I was going to be working with all summer and I was scared, because she captivated me right off the bat. So that first day, her and I were talking and bouncing a ball back and forth. She must have thought I was an idiot because I told her about my past relationship and how I didn't want to find anyone this summer, so her and I were strictly business...nothing more. I could tell she was thinking "This guy is full of himself!" But I wanted her to know from the beginning that we would be spending a lot of time together and it meant nothing to me! ha, I'm a jerk.

Well, if you've ever met Libby, there's no denying how incredible she is and you are just drawn to her. So after about a month of spending all day, ever day together, I couldn't take it. I called my mom crying (again, I'm a sap) telling her about this girl. I remember telling her that I felt like this is "the one", but I knew I put my heart out there too easily and I didn't want to do that again, besides, it had only been a month that I had known this girl! How could I really know that?! But Libby seemed to have some kind of feelings for me, who knows. But we went out one night with Danni and Terry to Oakwood and Libby and I started talking...trying to figure out what was going on. I told her my fears and how I just wanted to be friends, but I couldn't help these feelings for her. She told me that she wants to keep God first in her life, but anything she can do to help me to do the same, she would. She said she respects me and what I want to do with my life and the last thing she wants to do is get in the way of that. If you remember what my mom said that day on the stairs, she said exactly what my mom said. Also, Libby went to Indiana Wesleyan - not Anderson. So I went back to camp that night, still confused and praying more than I ever have about a relationship. I remember journaling that next morning and God being clear with me. It was like He was saying, "You have kept me first, you have turned things around, your focus is no longer about finding "the one", but being with me. You're ready". And so it began, Libby and I took it one day at a time, not rushing into anything at all.

Then one night, I went out to see her at school. We went to a place in the woods, I turned up the music in my car and we danced...it was beautiful. As we were driving home, out of nowhere Libby tells me she doesn't want to kiss me until we're engaged. ENGAGED?!? We're just dating!! I thought "that's several years from now...is that even going to work?". But again, God kept tugging my heart...what is this relationship about to you? So I began to get to know her, to fall in love with her and who she is. She had so much respect for our relationship that she didn't want anything physical to ruin it - which we see happen so many times. So I fell in love for the first time with a woman for WHO she is. I remember that being so hard because when you love someone, you kinda want to kiss them :-)

Now that we're married, I look back and see God's hand in EVERYTHING in our life. I see how He brought us together (which would be another long post on here) but basically, I ended up at that camp because I was pursuing a different girl the year before. Crazy. I see God's protection for us, especially in the physical side. It's hard to find someone who is saving themselves physically for the person they are going to marry, and that is something Libby and I pride ourselves on. I am so thankful for the woman God has put in my life to spend the rest of my life with. She's my everything and I couldn't imagine a life without her. There are night when I just watch her sleep and just thank God for her. She's so precious to me and I am so excited for the rest of our lives together. I'm blessed. She also has an incredible family that I love to spend time with. I never grew up hanging out with my cousins, so I feel like her cousins have become my cousins and her grandparents are like my grandparents to me.

I like how we celebrate things like anniversaries. It makes me stop and realize how blessed I really am. I have an incredible life with incredible people to enjoy it with. I love you all and thank you for your love and support in our first year together.