I'm sure I need to preface this for those of you that read into things too much :-) Everything I write in here is in no way intended to lift me up at all, merely to show God's plan is bigger than my own. Also, I love my wife so so much, more than I thought I could love another human, so don't misread anything :-)
The reason I say that about Libby is because she is gone this weekend, and I was looking forward to a weekend of Gabe time. (that's what I thought you might read into) I never not want Libby here, but sometimes I really need alone time. It's the way I'm wired and it's healthy for me to be alone! But I learned something tonight, as it's 10:3o and I should be working on my message instead of writing on my blog. I learned that what we plan for our lives, may not always be in line with what God has planned for our lives. Here's why, since Libby is gone all weekend, I had things scheduled for ME, for what I wanted to do. I knew saturday would be great because I could talk my message out at home instead of hoping no one would be at the office so I could do it. Which there is always someone there, oh well, it's not Gabe's office :-) But my plans got "wrecked".
Friday night, I wanted to have fun and do my own thing. So I rode with a cop friend of mine to watch him bust the bad guys. That's always fun for me. I'd enjoy being a cop I think! But then my saturday completely changed from what I expected. I hung out with some middle school boys which I didn't think would last as long as it did, but it was good and I enjoyed it! But when I got home and started to talk out my message, my accountability partner called me up and asked if we could get together earlier than we planned. We were going to watch Team Impact, which are these Christian bodybuilder guys that break stuff and preach, pretty cool. But I went out with him to his in-laws house, then to the show, then he wanted to hang out and talk after. I love hanging out with this guy and talking with him, but I couldn't get my mind off of the stuff I still had to get done tonight. But as the night went on, we kept talking about ministry things and what I do and he started to challenge me. He was talking about getting rest, and actually resting spiritually. I feel like I go go go all the time that I never take the time alone for myself to really rest in God. I get so caught up in what I need to do that I don't realize I'm hurting myself more than I am trying to make things right.
Not sure if that made sense. But this whole day did not go how I had it planned out to go. As I sit here and when I came home to unwind a little before I got to work, I got to thinking about things. The ministry is not my ministry, it's God's ministry and He is using me. As I sit and worry all day as I'm with these kids and with this guy that needs to talk with me, I am actually doing God's work. I get so caught up in ME and what I want or need to do, that I don't even stop to think that God has me taken care of. Sure, I need to work on my message, but don't you think it's more important for me to be in the lives of all the people I was with today? Don't you think God sees that and used me for that reason? Instead of thinking about your message, don't you realize that it's God's message to these people, it's not your words, but His?
All that to say - God will take care of His plan. I can't control His plan, but I can help carry it out. Sometimes we think it's all about me and what I think should be done, but God comes in and "wrecks" our plan to fit what He sees needs to be done. Too many of us have the "me" mentality, but it's really about pursuing God's plan for our lives and changing to a different mentality. So as I'm sitting here writing this, I'm encouraged because I know that I had a fulfilled and purposeful day doing God's plan and not my own. So now I'm going to go talk out my message and spend some time resting before I go to bed. I love saturday nights, 5 hours of sleep if I'm lucky :-)
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