It's been about 4 months since I've put anything on here. This whole blog thing was Libby's idea and we don't even update it :-) So let me know if you read this!
It's 11:15 on thursday night and I just got home from being with the cops - and I wasn't riding along this time. I got a call tonight from a cop friend of mine saying that our church bus got stolen by an 11 year old and I needed to come down there to get it and do whatever to the kids. I thought for sure he was joking, so I reluctantly said I'll be there. Then I get a call from a detective at the police station asking if I needed a ride out there. Ok, now it's for real and I'm a little freaked out. Here's why...
Today I was talking with my boss about how great life really is right now. The past 2 months or so I have gotten more encouragement than my first 4 years in ministry. Normally this would be sweet for me...but it wasn't for some reason (that's a whole other mess), but I think I was scared because I feel like once life is great, something huge happens that messes me up. Saturday morning I leave for a middle school camp on that bus and I thought "Great, one more thing to stress out about with this camp". My whole thought process going out to this bus was all about me and what I was feeling. Then as we were getting closer my heart was POUNDING through my chest. I've never felt that way before. I felt like God was really working me over - as angry as I was and as much as I wanted to just roundhouse kick those kids - my thought was "don't press charges - make it so these kids have to attend youth as their 'punishment'" Luckily that part didn't happen tonight...I'll get to go to court for that one, so I can process this further.
I'm not sure why I have been emotional lately...I promise I'm not pregnant (yes, this is Gabe writing). But I about started crying when I got out to the bus. There, sitting on the curb, an 11 year old and 15 year old in handcuffs. I talked a little with the boys to know their life and see what got them to where they are today. The 15 year old - no family, lives with a nanny and parents have nothing to do with him. The 11 year old - mom makes meth, sells crack and the cops are always at their house. When the cops asked if his mom would care he was going to jail, he shrugged his shoulders and acted like it was no big deal.
This is my city. This stuff happens every day. There are hundreds, if not thousands of lives just like this in Anderson. This is why I live here and do ministry here. Sure, I feel unsafe at times, but I'm doing God's work, I'm in His hands, I trust His plan. Even though my heart is a wreck right now, I believe my eyes were opened so wide tonight to a hurting world all around me.
So I'm left with that and I won't be able to sleep tonight because I have one huge question that I can't wrap my mind around - NOW WHAT?
2 comments:
I read it! I haven't given up! I check it almost every day :) It was very exciting to have a post. And it was a good one. The big question....now what? Excited for you, Gabe....to be in the process of figuring that out.
I read it too...Ministry is messy. I hear you. Love your persevering heart in it...a heart that refuses to become numb to the mess of peoples' (and our own) lives. Miss you two LOTS. Lib, I would give a million dollars to get to sit down and have coffee with you tomorrow morning. :) Maybe I will settle for a phone date soon? August is coming...(I'm sure that's when your life speeds up though, but it is when mine starts to slow down... We'll figure it out.)
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